The other night Wifey was watching TV
when she suddenly fell out of her chair cackling like an
escaped mental patient. “This is it,” I thought. “She's finally
lost it. Motherhood and being married to me have finally driven her
over the edge.”
But when she finally calmed down (and
it took a long time) she explained that she was laughing about
a commercial for a “super toilet.” I watched the commercial
myself and I had to agree that it was hilarious and a bit creepy.
Just hanging out with our toilet.
It's hilarious because the advertisers
have gone to great lengths to make the toilet look sexy.
That's right. And they even gave it a name. It's called
“Numi.” Do toilets normally have
names? Model numbers, maybe, but names?
Robots in disguise.
It's creepy because it's essentially a
robot. It looks like a small, unassuming white porcelain box but when
you get close it senses your presence and transforms like Optimus
Prime into a full-size toilet. I'm uncomfortable with something that
sophisticated in my bathroom. It's only a matter of time until it
becomes self aware and leads the
other robot toilets in a cybernetic restroom revolt, and I don't want
to be sitting on it when it does.
Also, it's just so darn considerate.
When it senses you coming it remembers how warm you like the toilet
seat and heats the seat up for you. And when you're sitting on the
toilet it blows warm air on your feet. It remembers your birthday and
asks about your day. It's as if your best friend got on an evil
wizard's bad side and was turned into a robot toilet.
And what bothers me the most is it's
just so... frivolous. For example, it plays music. I don't
know where the sound comes from, though, and I don't really want to.
You can also create playlists,
so you can have a mix for #1 and #2. And it'll only run you $6400.
I guess rich people have bought
everything imaginable and have run out of things to spend money on.
What do you think of "Numi?" Leave a comment if you please.
4 comments:
People who can blow all of their money on robotic toilets really do need to get a life. I see your point on "Numi."
haha the things people come up with. Wish I would have came up with that one and made some money! Maybe I should invent something that has to do with reading while on the toilet?? Hmmm Idea
A) I do not need my toilet singing to me. Ever.
B) Robot toilets would destroy the world. They know too much.
@Sasquatch-Yeah, if you can afford a robot toilet, you have too much money.
@missjonquil-Like a toilet reading lamp? Good idea. You could do a collab with Kindle.
@Charcoal-Agh! So true! They do know too much.
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